Puns About Cheese That Are Frankly Grate

What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese. We could stop there, but that would be irresponsible. Here is a whole wheel of them.

Puns, Ranked by Damage

Not all puns are created equal. Some tickle, some sting, and some should be reported to the authorities.

• Mild: the kind you can say at work
• Medium: earns one disappointed look
• Severe: friendships have ended over these

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process.

E. B. White, A Subtreasury of American Humor

We apologize for nothing. Well, maybe for one of them. You know which one.

A quick note on how this post came together: the idea arrived in our tips inbox, survived two editorial meetings, one argument about whether it was actually funny, and a vote that was decided by the office cat walking across the keyboard. We cleaned it up, checked every detail, and added only the jokes we could defend in front of our mothers.

The Part Where We Explain Ourselves

A curated collection of dairy wordplay that is sure to make you feel a little bleu. We tested every line on at least three coworkers, one houseplant, and a very patient delivery driver. Two out of five laughed, which in comedy is basically a standing ovation.

There is a science to this, sort of. The best jokes are short, specific, and a little bit true. They make you picture something you have seen before, then twist it just enough that your brain trips over its own feet. That tiny stumble is the laugh. Everything else is timing, and timing is mostly knowing when to stop talking.

Which is exactly what we should do now. But before we go, a confession: half of these were rejected the first time we pitched them. Our editor wrote “no” in the margin, then “fine” underneath it, then a small drawing of a frog. We are still not sure what the frog means, but we have decided to take it as a compliment.

Got a better one? Leave it in the comments below. The best reader submission each week gets pinned, framed, and read aloud at our Friday stand-up, whether you like it or not.